How to Avoid the Comparison Trap

Have you ever fallen into the trap of comparing your lifestyle to someone else’s?

Maybe you see someone with a flashier car, a more impressive job title, or what seems like a perfect financial setup, and you start wondering if you’re keeping up.

Whenever I get the urge to compare myself to others, I remind myself that a few years ago, many Australians were fighting over toilet paper…. you know, not completely rational behaviour.

It’s a good reminder to focus on playing your own game.

In the world of personal finance, where everyone’s goals, incomes, and comfort with risk are different, playing your own game isn’t just ideal—it’s essential.

This point was driven home to me recently during a consultation with a couple facing a major financial decision. This choice wasn’t a casual one; it would require nearly all their wealth and income over the next decade. Needless to say, it was a call they didn’t take lightly.

The Case for Staying the Course

As we dug deeper into their situation, the numbers showed that they were already comfortably on track to meet their goals. They were even ahead in a few areas.

Logically, they didn’t need to take on this additional risk. But even with the facts in front of him, the husband still felt strongly about going forward.

When I asked why, he admitted that his motivation had more to do with keeping up with two mates than with his own goals.

These friends of his were trying out a similar, ambitious strategy, and he didn’t want to feel left behind. Yet, the more we talked, the more apparent it became that he didn’t actually know the full context of their lives—how much debt they were carrying, what their financial goals were, or how much risk they could tolerate. He simply assumed that if they were doing it, he should be, too.

Avoiding the Trap of Apples and Oranges

After our meeting, the couple went home to reflect.

The husband eventually decided to reach out to his mates and have an honest conversation. By asking a few more personal questions, he discovered that his friends’ financial situations and risk levels were vastly different from his own.

The reality? He’d been comparing apples with oranges, chasing someone else’s strategy without fully understanding his own reasons for doing so.

In the end, they chose not to go ahead with the risky move. Instead, they opted to stay on their current path, secure in the knowledge that they were already set up for success.

The Takeaway: Stay Focused on Your Own Goals

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but when it comes to financial planning, trying to keep up with someone else’s goals can lead us down paths that aren’t right for us.

Personal finance is deeply personal.

What works for your friends, your family, or even your favourite social media influencer might not make sense for you. If you’re focusing too much on others, it’s all too easy to overlook what truly matters to you and your unique goals.

When you’re tempted to compare, take a step back. Consider where you’re heading, not where others are. The most fulfilling financial journey is the one that’s tailored to your own ambitions, risk tolerance, and life goals.

And when in doubt, have open conversations with those around you—just like this client did. You might find, just like he did, that your path is already right on track.

Want to know more?

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The information contained in this article is general information only. It is not intended to be a recommendation, offer, advice or invitation to purchase, sell or otherwise deal in securities or other investments. Before making any decision in respect to a financial product, you should seek advice from an appropriately qualified professional. We believe that the information contained in this document is accurate. However, we are not specifically licensed to provide tax or legal advice and any information that may relate to you should be confirmed with your tax or legal adviser.